Crazy Degrassi Day
by JessicaLWriter
Summary: A new chapter is here! It should be R for language but hey, whatevers! This is me JessicaLWriter, this fic is retarded and those who like making fun of people should read this! Don't hold it against me that this is gay! RR FLAMES ACCEPTED OPENLY!
1. My First Funny

Disclaimer: This is purely comedic and I don't own ANY Degrassi chars though I wish I did hehe. OK, anyway I hope I get a few laughs out of this, if anyone doesn't find making fun of people humorous then I suggest you don't read this. Anyway, here we go!  
  
Paige and Terri were walking down the hall when Mr. Sean Cameron came running down the opposite end treading right into Terri.  
  
"Watch where you're going!" Terri screamed massaging her body with her fingers.  
  
Sean gave her a once over and snarled. "Watch where you stand you fat pig. I bet if you weren't so big I wouldn't run into you." A tear ran down Terri's plump and heavily made up cheek.  
  
Paige couldn't help but laugh; she had noticed Terri's abnormal largeness. Sean just snorted at her too. "I wouldn't be laughing, Micalbitch, you're one ugly whore."  
  
Paige shut up immediately and flicked him when Sean started running again. Just then someone stuck their foot our and made Paige fall on the ground causing one of her teeth to break.  
  
Spinner started laughing but just then he popped a huge boner and poked Paige in the eye.  
  
"Oops, sorry my sha boink boink is out of control!" Spinner covered it up with his folder, which was polluted with Tilly's stickers.  
  
Jimmy laughed at all of them. Just then Ashley and Ellie walked by with Kendra tagging along beside them. "Wait guys, I wanted to know if you were interested in Anime!" Kendra whined.  
  
Toby was right behind Kendra. He talked in an annoying scratchy voice. "Wait, Kendra my sweet, we must flee from this place. It is filled with preps and punks and we, the anime-lovers, must create a colony of our own!!!!"  
  
Kendra screamed and ran away from him. "Get away from me you four- eyed psycho!"  
  
Manny and Emma were walking down the hall when they spotted Craig. Emma tripped Manny so she could get there first but Manny grabbed her foot.  
  
"C'mon braceface, FALL!" Manny screamed. Craig ran over to help him and soon slipped on a banana peel that Liberty had just thrown on the floor.  
  
"Oops, sorry guys." She said nonchalantly and started sucking on the banana. "Practice." JT Yorke then appeared with his cap backwards. He walked like a duck and Craig punched him in the face.  
  
"What was that for?" JT asked, his mouth bleeding.  
  
"You stole my girl!" Craig yelled.  
  
"No I didn't!" JT cried. "Mommy!"  
  
"Oh, my bad." Craig laughed a little and started making out with Manny. Emma gave Craig a wedgie and ran off in the other direction laughing like a witch.  
  
All in all the day went by really bad and things only got worse.  
  
THE END  
  
That was super retarded. You can all flame me and I will not care, I needed to get that out hehehe. I don't think I'll make another chap. This is for pure enjoyment! LOLZ! Please don't hate me because I wrote this, my other fic is waaaay better! LOVE YOU ALL HEHEHEHEHHE.  
  
*runs away screaming and laughing like a witch* HAPPY HALLOWEEN! 


	2. I Made A Funny

Disclaimer: Well, someone asked for a sequel so I decided: Oh what the hell, who cares. So, HERE IT IS! I hope this turns out as funny as the other one.  
  
We'll start with Terri today.  
  
The day progressed and Terri was deeply pissed at Sean for saying those mean things to her and at Paige for laughing. So, she decided to go crawling back to Ashley who was still walking around with Ellie.  
  
"Hey, Ash." Terri smiled. She resembled a pig so much then that Sean couldn't resist. He oinked behind her and pretended to pull an imaginary tail on her rear end.  
  
"Hey piggy pig! Soouuiiieee!"  
  
Terri jumped up and around making the ground move. "Seeeaaan. Cut it ouuuut!"  
  
She kept whining like this at Sean following him throughout the period. All the Degrassi children had skipped class and were now walking around like idiots.  
  
JT was holding his eye,which was bloody and swollen. "Stupid Craig, he thinks he's all cool with his camera, well, he ISN'T."  
  
"Where's Kendra?" Toby asked JT.  
  
"With Spinner."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I think they're having incest or something."  
  
"Ew."  
  
"I know. That's what I said. Spinner just punched me in my stomach." JT lifted his shirt to show a humongous bruise upon his belly button.  
  
"Let's just hope he doesn't kill her with his gigantic boners."  
  
Emma then walked in with Manny who was still making out with Craig. JT stuck out his leg so Manny and Craig fell on the ground and Manny would have grabbed on to Emma's chest, but she doesn't have one, so Emma wasn't affected by JT's leg.  
  
Craig looked up and screeched. "Hey! What was that for?" (AN: Has anyone noticed that whenever Craig asks a questions his voice kind of flips in the end, its so cute!)  
  
JT grabbed Manny and kissed her. "Now I stole your woman!"  
  
Craig jumped up and starting chasing after JT who flew right into Paige's rack making her fall over and bust another tooth. JT was happy though because his face was nuzzled in between Paige's breasts.  
  
"Get out you little maggot." She said squirting blood on him. JT smiled and then felt Craig's arm around his neck. Soon JT was paralyzed on the floor.  
  
"There you little bitch." Craig muttered. He smiled and took out his camera. "Oh yeah." CLICK. He took a picture of JT's immobility.  
  
Toby spotted Kendra. "My sweet!"  
  
Kendra screamed and ran behind Spinner's boner. "PLEASE! DON'T HURT ME."  
  
Jimmy was sitting watching all these people being stupid. He hadn't done anything retarded yet. His time will come though.  
  
Liberty was still sucking on her banana and stopped by Jimmy. "Hey Jimmy. Like what you see?" She sucked on the banana.  
  
"Uh, no." Jimmy said it like it was obvious.  
  
Liberty was upset. "Why?"  
  
"Because, I'm gay. Duh." (AN: THANK GOD JIMMY IS NOT REALLY GAY!!!!)  
  
Liberty shrugged and began walking again still sucking on her banana.  
  
Sean was still being followed by Terri until he found a pin cushion and popped her fat ass. She flew through the air farting all the while and screamed for Paige.  
  
Then the bell rang for lunch.  
  
Wow, crazy.  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
OK, I'm done. REVIIIIIEWWW! 


	3. Here's Another Stinky Helping Of FUNNY!

Disclaimer: Chapter three, I've just been so encouraged to add another chapter to this that I thought: OH OK IF EVERYONE *INSISTS*! You're probably thinking: I wasn't insisting this, she's doing this on her OWN free WILL! You're probably right, but for now you're WRONG!  
  
PURPLE MONKEYS FLY AT MIDNIGHT!  
  
It's true, I've seen them.  
  
Let's start with, hmm, Ashley. Yes? No? Well, I'm the writer so TOO BAD!  
  
Ashley walked around with a huge stomach and Paige laughed revealing her missing two front teeth. "What, did you and Jimmy actually DO IT?!"  
  
Ashley frowned and applied gel to her dykey hair. "No," she lifted her shirt to show a big bulge on her bellybutton, "Ellie's uncle did NOT clean his pin before he pierced my bellybutton and now it's all swollen."  
  
Ellie shrugged and revealed hers. "I guess he has a thing for family members."  
  
Ashley rolled her eyes and walked away.  
  
Sean came walking around the corner and Terri (who was with Paige) squealed and ran around the corner. Sean smiled when he saw her and tiptoed up to the corner where Terri was huffing and puffing from the long run.  
  
"What? You're still fat after I popped you?" Sean jumped in front of her.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Terri screamed in Sean's ear.  
  
Soon Sean's eardrum burst and blood dribble down the sides of his face. "You bitch," he sounded like a deaf person and used sign language as he talked, "look what did to my e-awr."  
  
Terri smiled and stuffed her face with a Snickers bar. "Sorry."  
  
Liberty was still walking around sucking on her banana, which was now very moist and slippery. She came across Mr. Johnson and sucked especially hard when he came. "Hey Mr. Johnson, wanna make those rumors about me and you true?" She sucked faster.  
  
Mr. Johnson turned around and smiled. "Yeah, c'mon over here to the broom closet." Mr. Johnson grabbed her banana, shoved it in his mouth, opened his fly and made Liberty SUCK IT! Then he shoved both of them into the closet.  
  
Jimmy walked by trying to act like a bad ass and when everyone was watching him he ripped of his shirt and pants revealing a bow tie and a happy face thong with stray pubes sticking out of the edges.  
  
"C'MON EVERYBODY! IT'S PARTY TIME!!!" Some music started and Jimmy danced around: left leg, right leg, shake the booty, do your thang!  
  
JT and Toby saw this whole thing and Toby took of his shirt too and decided to dance around with Jimmy because he was his role model.  
  
"OK JIMMY! LET'S DANCE!" All of Toby's fat jiggled around as he did the dance Jimmy did. JT put his head in his hands and accidentally poked himself in the eye.  
  
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!" He bounced around the room and with his fingers outstretched he felt them sink into someone's eyeballs and there was another piercing scream.  
  
Sean was now blind too. "Aw, you pe-oples suck." He said very slowly bumping into the walls bleeding down his ears and eyes all the while. Terri kicked him in the shins and giggled like a little girl.  
  
Spinner had now joined in with his elephant trunk thong and of course had a huge boner. "The ladies dig my sha boink boink!" He gyrated his hips and his dick bounced around with the rhythm. "WHEEEEEE!"  
  
Craig and Manny had returned to making out and Emma was watching them, obviously disgusted. There was drool all over each others mouths. Emma took out her knife and grabbed Manny's shoulders and CUT OF HER LIPS! THE ONES BETWEEN HER HIPS! No, just kidding, the ones on her face and Manny screamed in pain.  
  
"OW!"  
  
Craig shrugged and started kissing Emma.  
  
The bell rang for sixth period.  
  
Wow.  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
Good God I'm crazy!  
  
REVIEW IF YOU WANTS TO MY PRECIOUSSSSS!  
  
GOLLUM ROCKS THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
AND REMEMBER!!! PURPLE MONKEYS FLY AT MIDNIGHT!!!! 


	4. This is stinky, maybe funny, who CARES a...

====== Crazy Degrassi Day ======  
  
So after a long and very much-needed vacation from this disgustingly pointless story, I have returned for a chapter just as stupid and retarded as the last three. Please enjoy or even hate this following chapter since I do not have a care in the world. Hehe. Oh yes, and I do NOT have anything against homosexuals, if you get that idea in this chap.  
  
Chapter Four  
  
While Craig and Emma were making out, a small puddle of drool began to form around them until people were swimming through it with goggles and the whole scuba diving get-up. Then Marco opened the doors and it all flooded out onto some unsuspecting Degrassi students and they were covered in Craig/Emma spittle.  
  
Marco eyed the couple making out and licked his lips like he always did. He stood behind Craig and wrapped his arms around his middle, massaging his stomach. "Oh God, Craig I want you."  
  
Emma and Craig stopped making out long enough to stare at Marco who was moaning with pleasure. Toby, who had been chasing Kendra, screeched to a halt and fell over, hitting his face on the wall. "Oomph!"  
  
Jimmy, Ashley, and Ellie were watching the event occurring (although Ellie wasn't at all surprised about this) with their mouths hanging open. Spinner and Paige were standing by one another, Spinner's sha boink had been under control but when he saw this it grew about two feet. Paige eyed it suspiciously and backed away. Manny, who was still bleeding from the lips and crying, stopped all she was doing and stared at Marco intensely. Terri, who had been hoarding potato salad in her purse, rejoined the amazed students and her eyes fell upon the sight. "Oh my." She muttered, her mouth outlined in the potato-ish substance.  
  
"What's go-ing owan?" Sean walked with his hands outstretched and his feet bow-legged. He walked in a couple of circles until he crashed into a group of trash cans and knocked spaghetti and throw-up (a student had regurgitated in there earlier) all over Hazel who had just walked in the door. "Oh my god! Sean, you idiot! Oh my god!! Marco's a fag? Gross!!!!!"  
  
Everyone stared at her and then at Marco who was watching everyone now with a somber look and placed his hand on his hips. "That's right you little bitches, I am and if any of you whores have a problem with it you can just, kiss my BUTT!"  
  
He pulled off a loose shirt to reveal a tight pink one with the words: Rainbows are Sweet printed on the front with a little girl holding a rainbow. He flung his arms out in front of him and ran down the corridors yelling incoherent sayings.  
  
Craig whimpered, "I feel so violated."  
  
Ashley shook her head. "I need some X."  
  
"I need another piercing." Ellie claimed.  
  
"I need a new folder." Spinner looked down and realized his enormous boner had pierced through the one he was holding.  
  
"I need another new haircut." Paige whined.  
  
"Yes, you do." Hazel added, eyeing Paige's mullet. Paige slapped Hazel and stalked off somewhere.  
  
"I need some rolls to go with this potato salad." Terri said.  
  
"Why don't you jus' yus your own?" Sean suggested. Terri eyed him suspiciously.  
  
"I thought you were deaf and blind."  
  
"Oh-er-what?"  
  
Jimmy, meanwhile, had been staring into space. He ran after Marco, who had been sitting in the zen-garden of Degrassi (no one knows WHY they have zen- garden there, they just do) and sat beside him. "Marco."  
  
Marco looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "What? Here to make fun of the little pixie? I knew this was going to happen. You guys are just big old meanie-heads!"  
  
Jimmy shook his head and smiled. "No. Why would I make fun of a pixie? I'm a pixie too."  
  
Marco looked shocked and placed his hands over his mouth (which were now painted pink). "Oh my god, you little queer! Come and kiss me!"  
  
The two started making out and thus began an extremely controversial relationship.  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
Ok, got bored. It's not very funny but whatevers. Review if you will. Byeness. 


	5. The Last Stinky Helping Of Funny?

========== Crazy Degrassi Day ==========  
  
Hola! Como estas?! Mi? Oh I'm super, thanks for asking! Anywhoo, I'm in shock that people are still reviewing for this fic, and I'm actually very pleased as well. Imagine that! Muaha, well it's back by popular demand and the sheer fact that I feel like making fun of Degrassi at the moment!  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: Of course I don't OWN Degrassi, that's just silly.  
  
***  
  
Ellie was curious to see where Marco had run off to so she walked to the zen garden, knowing that he might be there. When she rounded the corner she spotted Marco and Jimmy kissing like mad-pixies.  
  
"Oh, geez." Ellie shielded her eyes but Marco and Jimmy just ignored her. She soon got into it and sat on the bench next to the fairy boys and watched intently. "This is so amazing."  
  
Meanwhile, after the initial shock deserted the Degrassi bunch (which happened quickly), Ashley decided to make her move on Craig. She strutted over there, big belly and all, and batted her eyelashes. "Hi there, Craiggy."  
  
"Er, hi Ashley." He replied, eyeing her warily.  
  
"I was wondering, since you're so hot, and I'm so hot, then maybe you'd wanna go to the movies, where subsequently we'd go back to my house and make out on my bed and come close to having sex but instead make big balloon animals out of condoms?" Ashley smiled sweetly.  
  
"But, Ashley, aren't you in labor?" Craig said, looking down, rather scared.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Ashley asked him, apparently confused. He stared down between her legs.  
  
"You like what you see?" Ashley cooed.  
  
He pointed down between her legs and Ashley rolled her eyes and finally stared down between her legs to see a baby's head peeping out from beneath her dress. "Oh god, that?"  
  
"Um, yeah Ashley there's a baby between your thighs!" Craig cried.  
  
"Yeah and if you play your cards right maybe you'll be between my thighs." She stroked his cheek and Craig did that whimpering thing again.  
  
With a loud thump a 10-pound-baby fell onto the floor. Ashley giggled. "Get that for me will you Diedre?" Ashley yelled to Craig.  
  
"What?" Craig asked.  
  
"The baby you dumb-ass." Ashley punched his shoulder. "Get the fucking baby."  
  
"Why?" He asked.  
  
"Because I said so, now get the baby!" She pointed to the wriggling thing on the floor, Ashley's legs now spread far apart.  
  
"How?" Craig asked. He didn't even know which part was the head and which part was it's rear-end.  
  
"Diedre! Get the baby!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Oh, sorry, I mean Craig. I've watched Monty Python too many times." Ashley laughed.  
  
"When?"  
  
"What are you, a fucking reporter? You've asked the five extended W's already! Well, minus where but that doesn't matter. You have to spank my baby, and um, later you can give me a spanking how would you like that huh, you dirty boy?" She hinted, inching closer to him, never minding the baby that was not making any noise beneath her.  
  
Craig then picked up the baby and smacked it hard. The dark brown thing suddenly made an awful wailing noise. "Are you sure it's human?"  
  
"Of course it's human, but you just smacked it in the face! How would you feel if someone did that to you?" And instead of waiting for him to answer, she smacked him in the face as well. He made a noise identical to the baby's and soon there were two wailing pussy's in the room.  
  
"Oh! It's a girl!" Ashley cradled her bloody, naked baby. She started singing her a song that sounded oddly familiar to everyone.  
  
"Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed, to know? That something wasn't right yeah? Oh baby, baby I shouldn't have let you go. And now you're out of sight yeah!" She sang. Spinner was aroused by this his boner grew again. Toothless Paige, tired from all the chaos that occurred that day, sat on it and wiped her brow.  
  
"Ash, I thought you said you weren't pregnant." Toothless Paige pointed out. She looked at the baby with an expression of pure disgust. The baby's face had gotten all distorted from Craig's hand slapping it in the face.  
  
"I guess I was. How was I supposed to know?" Ashley shrugged.  
  
"It looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Gary Coleman." Toothless Paige laughed, Spinner laughed too making Toothless Paige bounce around.  
  
"Spinner, cut it out." Toothless Paige snapped at him.  
  
Terri rounded the corner, now eating some coleslaw from a gigantic slop bucket and sat by on the nearest bench. The Boner Bench! So now Toothless Paige and Terri were both sitting on Spinner's huge boner.  
  
"This is exciting." Spinner giggled.  
  
Ashley was tickling Craig, who was whimpering uncomfortably. Terri tossed some coleslaw on Craig's inky curls and blushed. Craig was now crying, all he wanted to do was go home.  
  
"What's wrong, sugar tits?" Ashley questioned, licking his tears. Craig sobbed and his nose ran, Ashley licked that as well.  
  
Terri got up from the Boner Bench; soon replaced by Sean who was tired from all the not-seeing and not-hearing crap. "I wanna go howme."  
  
"Me too!!!" Craig cried. Terri was now sitting on top of him and feeding him coleslaw, making him lick her fingers. Ashley was cradling her baby and massaging Craig's feet.  
  
Then, Toby and Kendra walked around one of the many corner's of Degrassi Community School, Kendra sporting a large stomach identical to Ashley's before she gave birth to Laqueefa.  
  
"Laqueefa?" Toothless Paige snorted. Ashley smacked her with some spare coleslaw from Craig's hair.  
  
"What happened to you?" Toothless Paige asked Kendra, wiping off the coleslaw that landed on her mullet.  
  
"Piercing accident. I'm never going to Ellie's uncle again." Kendra shook her head.  
  
Ashley was now smoking a cigarette. "Yeah, but ain't he great in bed?"  
  
"Oh yeah." Kendra nodded. This made Spinner's boner deplete instantly causing Sean and Toothless Paige to fall onto the floor. ("What the foouck!?" Sean cried)  
  
"You slept with another man, my pet?" Toby sniffled.  
  
"It's not my fault. His pot-belly is just so freakin' hot!" Kendra giggled. Ashley agreed with her and soon they were in a long discussion about how the sex went.  
  
"Oh my word, you mean Laqueefa is not mine? YIPEE!!" Jimmy jumped into the air, his Care Bears shirt lifting up, revealing his pierced nipples. Marco caught him and pinched his butt.  
  
"You little bitch! You had sex with Ashley?" Marco's large eyes were moist.  
  
"Eww! No!" Jimmy cringed.  
  
"Then what do you mean Laqueefa isn't yours? The only way for her to be yours is if you had sex." Marco shook his head, his hands on his hips.  
  
Ashley eyed Jimmy with a look of such hatred it was incomprehensible. Jimmy cowered in fear. "I-I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Okay, that's good enough for me." Marco shrugged.  
  
Manny and Emma had now found there way to Craig as well and they had stripped him down until he was only in his plaid boxers. Manny's lips had stopped bleeding but they still were disgusting and non-existent. Emma's boobs were just as disgusting and non-existent as Manny's lips, but they both thought they were sexy beats.  
  
"I am a sexy beast!" They cried. See?  
  
Craig was shouting with pain. "Please, get off of me! I'm not used to this attention! Leave me alone! Mommy!"  
  
Toothless Paige, feeling sorry for the innocent, virginal Craig, blasted away all the chicks on him with a .45, now there were four bloody carcasses on the floor of Degrassi school and one wailing Laqueefa.  
  
Paige picked up Laqueefa by the head, smacking her Bubblicious gum, and handed it to Craig. "Now that I killed its bitch mother, you have to take care of it."  
  
Craig nodded, a small smile on his face. "Thank you Paige." He then began breast-feeding the hungry baby.  
  
BRIIIIIIING! The bell rang and thus ended the extremely crazy Degrassi day.  
  
***  
  
YES! I am through! This is not a stroke of genius, but enough to make you laugh at how completely idiotic everything is. Hopefully this will be enough to sustain those who actually liked my story and wanted more. 


End file.
